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The Majesty of Brokenness

I was forced to grapple with hard life issues early on having been born with a condition called proximo-femoral-focal-deficiency (pffd) which manifested itself in undeveloped limbs and a webbed hand.

The doctor advised institutionalization. My family took me home and loved me. Our outlook on life fluctuated between fear of the unknown and faith in God. With no parent support groups in the 40's and 50's, my minister father and mother blazed their own trail grateful for Shriners Hospital and the Kiwanis Camp for Crippled Children in the summers.

We never dreamt I would marry but God planned otherwise, creating a unique man named David Squier who swept me off my feet and crowned me his queen almost forty years ago. Together we parented Emily, then Elizabeth and then Naphtalie who as young adults are better human beings having had a mother whose legs came off at night.

My life has been blessed at every turn. As an adult, I am thankful to be able to give back some of the blessings given me as a child. With speaking and writing, I am able to convince others (no matter what their handicap) not to quit before the happy ending. My travel articles have encouraged wheelchair users to dare to wheelchair safari in Kenya, snorkel in Maui, and experience the wonder of Venice. I have carried the message of hope to third world countries telling mothers of disabled children: God makes no mistakes.

I believe that disability offers a setting for God to display His Glory. Joni Eareckson Tada's quote about people with disabilities puts my belief into words, all 68 of which I want on my tombstone:

"People with disabilities are God's best visual aids to demonstrate who He really is. His Power shows up best in weakness. And who by the world's standards is weaker than the mentally or physically disabled. As the world watches, these people persevere. They live, love, trust and obey Him. Eventually the world is forced to say: 'How great their God must be to inspire this type of loyalty.'"

-Joni Eareckson Tada

Most recently I have taken a journey inward only to discover that parallel to the Cheerful Can Do Judy has lived a wounded, fear-filled Judy, who never was allowed to verbalize the pain of disability. Weekly counseling has allowed feelings and attitudes to surface, be processed and healed. With healing, I recognize a new mission: to give other disabled men and women permission to voice their pain, their anger, their sadness so God can touch and heal those wounds.

The following piece was written in my 50's when someone finally asked, "How do you feel?"

Judy's Poem

Broken.
Cursed at birth.
Loved.
Applauded.
Yet pained, blamed, chained.
Afraid to complain.
Daybreak, Sonrise.
Set free.
Permission to be me.
Honesty.
"I hate my disability.
I hate the thief who robbed me of legs
And barred me from the world of legs.

I'm sad.
I'm mad.
At the same time, I'm glad."
GOD SAVED THE DAY.
Amazingly His Light shines blindingly bright through
Broken People
LIKE ME.
Judith Ann Rieder
Judy
Mrs. David Squier
God's Sanctified Escort
to lead others from
the pit

to PRAISE.

Contact Judy at JudyAnn777@aol.com